Looking somewhat battered here. You do not have to worry about the other chap; unwittingly I did it to my self (no 'bumped into a door' story either). Fittingly, it happened on the last day of 2017, which had not been exactly a great year in some respects. Here is the real story: seems like, that morning, on waking I rubbed my left eye a tad too vigorously. The rest was due to blood thinners I have to take following my unremarkable cardiac event back in November 2016. These make it very easy to get bruised and usually, if I know I have knocked myself about, a quick rub and some application of ice will forestall temporary disfigurement.
Imagine my surprise when, brushing my teeth before going to bed, not having ventured forth during the day nor looked into a mirror, I caught sight of this! There have been moments during the year when I did feel a bit beaten; no wanting overly to burden you with complaints, here follows a brief listing.
Already mentioned, the heart attack and resultant emplacement of a stent. I was very fortunate in that I recognized the slight symptoms and took myself to the ER, managing to have the event there. In January, worn down by advanced cancer, my dearest Uma, the centre of my life, died. A little later on, there was the small matter of a couple of stones in my bladder, that betrayed their existence by weird lower back pain, and removed mid-year. Did I mention turning 80 in May? Those stones had me feeling 100! Comforting myself with the saying, trouble comes in threes, I began to think it was now all in the past. The problem was one of logic, I had confused apples with oranges; grief is one thing and medical ailments another!
In the last week of the year, my doctor called me in to tell me that recent blood tests indicate possible Type 2 Diabetes (T2TM). 'Not fair!' I appealed. She comforted me with a comment to the effect that I was 'lucky' to have all these things happen within one year!
In fact, I do sense that the worst is behind me now and feel freed to focus on the way ahead. There were times when I did feel discombobulated and set back. Just over a decade back I had left Portland in Oregon to come all the way across America to be with Uma and now she was gone from me. Truthfully, the physical ailments were slight compared with my sense of loss; grief can be quite a grind. On the other hand, there are treasures hidden within, such as the love and support of family and friends, also considerable and deep learnings about oneself and the nature of life. It is also a process that refuses to be hurried; how foolish to attempt to whiz by, perhaps not to notice, the silver and gold amid the dross. There may be more to say of this in another blog posting.
Being 80 has one deep in puzzlement. How did I get to be so old? I have so few mentors beyond this marker, the way ahead looks to be Terra Incognita (remember those old maps with areas so named, with annotations like 'There Be Dragons'?). Dragons? Dementia, Cancer...?
No matter, push on McDuck, and lay on him who calls 'lay off'! In the immediate, the next three months, the task is to drive off the spectre of T2DM...watch diet (I turned vegetarian some months back), lose some avoir de pois, exercise more, and reorder my life, which has been somewhat a mess this last year.
New adventures await...so, watch this space!
